Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
found the other keg... it's in the tree
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Let's get the cat blown out
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
