She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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