don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
This is classic penis vs brain.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
