she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
