32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
