If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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