Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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