dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
