Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
