Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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