What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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