I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Even my vagina gasped.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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