Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
