How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
