i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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