we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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