Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
