I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I love you.
Bad choice
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