theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
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