I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
