i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
My vagina just recognized that song.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
