After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize