Buhtt sex?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize