bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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