Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
