It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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