its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
