Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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