She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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