he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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