there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Randomize
