i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
