I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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