what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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