You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
