yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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