The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
No subtext here. People are naked.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
