ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
