I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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