They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
