i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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