i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize