I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
