he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Randomize
