So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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