Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
