life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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