She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
