Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
