So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
