Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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