She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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