What a fucking waste of an outfit
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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