it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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