ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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