I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize