You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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