I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
