I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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