i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
