I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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